With Hope, Steven Curtis Chapman
A song written by Steven 10 years ago for a family that lost a child. It was sang at Maria Chapman's funeral, what a testimony of faith shown by the Chapman family, the words minister to me so...
thought I would share...
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free, and ...
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true, so ...
We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
May 28
May 28th
In tears today... I decided that on the 28th of the month I am going to share a memory of Rachel... looks like I have some catching up to do... Please feel free to share with me by adding your comments at the end of this blog...
It's been one month since Rachel went home to be with Jesus. We still miss her soooooo......
Even though I was travelling this year, Rachel and I had some really sweet times... In Missouri we saw, the Arch, the great Mississippi, Anheuser Busch plant, Grease the musical, Carrie even took her to OU. Probably my favorite memory of our travels was our trip to Washington DC. We had been walking, walking and walking, she was TIRED! We got to the Vietnam War Memorial, after looking through a book of names she looked at the wall and said, "now what's that wall thingy?" I knew that it was time to move on....
In tears today... I decided that on the 28th of the month I am going to share a memory of Rachel... looks like I have some catching up to do... Please feel free to share with me by adding your comments at the end of this blog...
It's been one month since Rachel went home to be with Jesus. We still miss her soooooo......
Even though I was travelling this year, Rachel and I had some really sweet times... In Missouri we saw, the Arch, the great Mississippi, Anheuser Busch plant, Grease the musical, Carrie even took her to OU. Probably my favorite memory of our travels was our trip to Washington DC. We had been walking, walking and walking, she was TIRED! We got to the Vietnam War Memorial, after looking through a book of names she looked at the wall and said, "now what's that wall thingy?" I knew that it was time to move on....
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Psalm 84
A new favorite...
Psalm 84
1 How lovely is your dwelling place,
O Lord Almighty!
2 My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God.
3 Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young—
a place near your altar,
O Lord Almighty, my King and my God.
4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
they are ever praising you.
Selah
5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
6 As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.
8 Hear my prayer, O Lord God Almighty;
listen to me, O God of Jacob.
Selah
9 Look upon our shield, O God;
look with favor on your anointed one.
10 Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.
12 O Lord Almighty,
blessed is the man who trusts in you.
From a commentary that I read... baca means weeping...
By passing through the valley of Baca (a barren land), symbolically we are by our struggles and tears growing strong in His presence. Yes Baca is a barren place, however He revives the hearts of His people, so that for sorrows we will have "rivers of delight."
Psalm 84
1 How lovely is your dwelling place,
O Lord Almighty!
2 My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God.
3 Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young—
a place near your altar,
O Lord Almighty, my King and my God.
4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
they are ever praising you.
Selah
5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
6 As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.
8 Hear my prayer, O Lord God Almighty;
listen to me, O God of Jacob.
Selah
9 Look upon our shield, O God;
look with favor on your anointed one.
10 Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.
12 O Lord Almighty,
blessed is the man who trusts in you.
From a commentary that I read... baca means weeping...
By passing through the valley of Baca (a barren land), symbolically we are by our struggles and tears growing strong in His presence. Yes Baca is a barren place, however He revives the hearts of His people, so that for sorrows we will have "rivers of delight."
Sunday, May 11, 2008
August Rush
It's not often that a movie captures me like this one. I saw it when it first came out while I was in Virginia. I had worked the night before, slept little and went completely unprepared for a good cry and I mean a good ole cry and not the pretty kind if you know what I mean. I was the ONLY one that left having had a good cry and thought maybe I was just tired or really weird. Probably a combination of both would be my guess, I tend to be a crier anyway...
Any way here is my take...
When I asked Leon what made it is favorite, one his comments summed it up for me... " It highlighted the "childlike
faith" to which Jesus referred when He said, "unless a man becomes as one of these little children, he cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven." That was the WHOLE reason this movie touched me so deeply. However, let me explain.
I left with this...
I was very touched by the little boy Evan who longed to be found and ultimately was. He bravely set out to fill a void in his life, a void left by a need to find his parents. The movie also touched my heart because he never gave up believing his parents wanted him or his mother when she found out her father put him up for adoption-how she was determined to find him at all cost or at how Louis was determined to find Lyla. It gently reminded me during those times in my life when have I stepped away from my Heavenly Father and then began to search & long for Him again, He has always been there within my reach if I would reach out to Him. He longs to parent me just as August's parents longed to parent him. It reminded me that we all want to be FOUND. Just as they found each other, our Heavenly Father has always known where we are it is we who found HIM.
It is a story of hope that teaches determination, perseverance, and
to never give up on your dream. It gracefully defines the benefits of listening to Him. It takes us to a place where we can witness there is more to us than our bodies, brains, and intellects. It teaches things of the Holy Spirit, His things unseen, and it does so through a child who is full of joy when there seems to be no reason for him to have any! He is a prodigy with a God-given talent stirring in him and he can do things for which there is no logical reason. Isn't that how the world should see us! I could even see Satan when the Wizard was trying to control August.
The movie also made me think about the importance of using the gifts He has given us. The importance of not following the whispers of the world but to remember He has a path for us. We are to go after it no matter what THE world may say. God is the giver of all good gifts, certainly the giver of good music. The music alone was worth the price of the ticket. I loved that when the musicians used the gifts God gave them, they were filled with joy. I really got a kick out of how he played the guitar the first time. It touched my heart for the gift that GOD gave him. When we use the gifts God has given us, we too experience great joy. I believe we feel God's pleasure in us as we do all things as unto the Lord. The music (it's not even my kind of music, I am more of a KLTY kinda girl) reminded me of His voice being everywhere if we will just listen. Probably why I have such AWESOME worship time in my car listening to CD's or KLTY. He meets me there a LOT. Just as Evan heard music everywhere because he had ears to hear, so we can see and hear God everywhere if we have eyes to see and ears to hear. His handiwork is seen in all of creation as the heavens declare the glory of the Lord. If we sincerely ask, seek, and knock, He will reveal himself to us, and we too will be found. This movie was a powerful experience for me. Go rent it, you will not regret it!
An absolutely amazing movie! I loved it!
Any way here is my take...
When I asked Leon what made it is favorite, one his comments summed it up for me... " It highlighted the "childlike
faith" to which Jesus referred when He said, "unless a man becomes as one of these little children, he cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven." That was the WHOLE reason this movie touched me so deeply. However, let me explain.
I left with this...
I was very touched by the little boy Evan who longed to be found and ultimately was. He bravely set out to fill a void in his life, a void left by a need to find his parents. The movie also touched my heart because he never gave up believing his parents wanted him or his mother when she found out her father put him up for adoption-how she was determined to find him at all cost or at how Louis was determined to find Lyla. It gently reminded me during those times in my life when have I stepped away from my Heavenly Father and then began to search & long for Him again, He has always been there within my reach if I would reach out to Him. He longs to parent me just as August's parents longed to parent him. It reminded me that we all want to be FOUND. Just as they found each other, our Heavenly Father has always known where we are it is we who found HIM.
It is a story of hope that teaches determination, perseverance, and
to never give up on your dream. It gracefully defines the benefits of listening to Him. It takes us to a place where we can witness there is more to us than our bodies, brains, and intellects. It teaches things of the Holy Spirit, His things unseen, and it does so through a child who is full of joy when there seems to be no reason for him to have any! He is a prodigy with a God-given talent stirring in him and he can do things for which there is no logical reason. Isn't that how the world should see us! I could even see Satan when the Wizard was trying to control August.
The movie also made me think about the importance of using the gifts He has given us. The importance of not following the whispers of the world but to remember He has a path for us. We are to go after it no matter what THE world may say. God is the giver of all good gifts, certainly the giver of good music. The music alone was worth the price of the ticket. I loved that when the musicians used the gifts God gave them, they were filled with joy. I really got a kick out of how he played the guitar the first time. It touched my heart for the gift that GOD gave him. When we use the gifts God has given us, we too experience great joy. I believe we feel God's pleasure in us as we do all things as unto the Lord. The music (it's not even my kind of music, I am more of a KLTY kinda girl) reminded me of His voice being everywhere if we will just listen. Probably why I have such AWESOME worship time in my car listening to CD's or KLTY. He meets me there a LOT. Just as Evan heard music everywhere because he had ears to hear, so we can see and hear God everywhere if we have eyes to see and ears to hear. His handiwork is seen in all of creation as the heavens declare the glory of the Lord. If we sincerely ask, seek, and knock, He will reveal himself to us, and we too will be found. This movie was a powerful experience for me. Go rent it, you will not regret it!
An absolutely amazing movie! I loved it!
Saturday, May 10, 2008
letter written to us in 2006, by Rachel
Dear mom and dad,
First of all I want to say thank you. And that I am really lucky to have you as my parents. You have always taken care of me. When I need something you always get it for me even if it means you have to sacrifice something in return. You are always there cheering me on in any sport. When Andrew was having problems you didn't give up on him. You worked hard to keep us a family. You made hard decisions. In the end, it all worked out. I have been blessed by God to have christian parents. Ya'll have raised me in a christian home and have kept me in church. You have been great parents. There is not enough words to describe it. Thank you.
love you
First of all I want to say thank you. And that I am really lucky to have you as my parents. You have always taken care of me. When I need something you always get it for me even if it means you have to sacrifice something in return. You are always there cheering me on in any sport. When Andrew was having problems you didn't give up on him. You worked hard to keep us a family. You made hard decisions. In the end, it all worked out. I have been blessed by God to have christian parents. Ya'll have raised me in a christian home and have kept me in church. You have been great parents. There is not enough words to describe it. Thank you.
love you
I am thankful
by Rachel Fulenwider
There are many things I am thankful for but only three stand out to me.
First, I am thankful for technology. Technology is not just the things that runon electricity. It's everything. We would still be in the Stone Ages if it weren't for it. I would not want to be in the Stone Ages. I wouldn't have my straightener, (which broke), computer, phone and music. Technology helps understand the world better. It gives us things to enjoy in our life. You can't get ever get bored with all the technology we have now. I am so thankful to have it.
Second, I am thankful for money. shopping, and food. I love food. I love energy drinks, candy, and all the stuff that is bad for you. Yeah, I like the occasional broccoli or peas, but not nearly as much as junk food. I could not survive without my favorite foods. If I didn't have Red Bulls or Sobe Adrenalines would be dead as a doornail. They give me my energy. I am also really thankful for shopping. Shopping is the time to hang out with friends and just have fun. You go shopping to pamper yourself. I love everything about shopping. OK. Now, I may be really thankful for the others, but not as much as money. I couldn't do the other things without money. I may not always have a lot of it, but when I do spend it the second I get. I can't save money. It's not my thing.
Finally, I am most thankful for God, family and friends. We would not be alive if it weren't for God. If it weren't for him, we would not have anything to be thankful for. He created family for a reason. Family is there to support you. They are with you from the beginning to the end. They will never forsake you. I wouldn't know what to do without my family. Friends are there when you need a break from things. Good friends will laugh, cry, act stupid or do anything with you. When I see everyone around me fighting with their friends, saying mean things, or even breaking friendships. I know how lucky I am to have my friends.
You may not have a lot, but the most important thing is to be thankful. Don't be jealous. Be thankful for what you have. First and foremost be thankful that you are alive. Be thankful for who you have not necessarily for what you have.
There are many things I am thankful for but only three stand out to me.
First, I am thankful for technology. Technology is not just the things that runon electricity. It's everything. We would still be in the Stone Ages if it weren't for it. I would not want to be in the Stone Ages. I wouldn't have my straightener, (which broke), computer, phone and music. Technology helps understand the world better. It gives us things to enjoy in our life. You can't get ever get bored with all the technology we have now. I am so thankful to have it.
Second, I am thankful for money. shopping, and food. I love food. I love energy drinks, candy, and all the stuff that is bad for you. Yeah, I like the occasional broccoli or peas, but not nearly as much as junk food. I could not survive without my favorite foods. If I didn't have Red Bulls or Sobe Adrenalines would be dead as a doornail. They give me my energy. I am also really thankful for shopping. Shopping is the time to hang out with friends and just have fun. You go shopping to pamper yourself. I love everything about shopping. OK. Now, I may be really thankful for the others, but not as much as money. I couldn't do the other things without money. I may not always have a lot of it, but when I do spend it the second I get. I can't save money. It's not my thing.
Finally, I am most thankful for God, family and friends. We would not be alive if it weren't for God. If it weren't for him, we would not have anything to be thankful for. He created family for a reason. Family is there to support you. They are with you from the beginning to the end. They will never forsake you. I wouldn't know what to do without my family. Friends are there when you need a break from things. Good friends will laugh, cry, act stupid or do anything with you. When I see everyone around me fighting with their friends, saying mean things, or even breaking friendships. I know how lucky I am to have my friends.
You may not have a lot, but the most important thing is to be thankful. Don't be jealous. Be thankful for what you have. First and foremost be thankful that you are alive. Be thankful for who you have not necessarily for what you have.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Mother's Day 2008
Mother's Day 2008…
We are reminding ourselves to thank Him for blessing us with our precious Rachel for 15 years & Andrew. She blessed us beyond measure and continues to do so even in her absence. Oh how He loves us!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Lost
Lost
by Rachel Fulenwider
September 2005
"Rachel we're lost" Cleo said. NO we're not. The creek is hard to get lost in. "Rachel I'm scared" Cleo wined. This is fun enjoy the cool outdoors. I Know where I'm going.
"Rachel let's go back. Im getting tired" Cleo said. We should almost be to the bridge. I think. Once we get there we can go home. "Rachel, are you sure you know where we are going?" Cleo asked. Yes, I promise. Andrew and I used to come down here all the time. "Yeah you and Andrew, " Cleo added. I'm pretty sure it's this way. "Rachel your lost just admit it," Cleo said. Fine we are lost. "We are so dead," Cleo yelled. "Let's go back Rachel" Cleo wined. OK, I have to figure out where we are first. Let's see. If we came in on the left. Then, we go that way. I think. Let's just go this way. This way is evidently not getting us anywhere. "Rachel, Cleo, I'm going to run to Pettit's. I'll be back in a few minutes." mom yelled. "Georgia wait. We're lost. Help us!" Cleo cried frantically. Cleo shut up. I figured out where we are. Her voice came from that direction. So, let's follow where her voice came from. Look, Cleo it's our fence. Let's go! Finally, we made it back. Don't go in the house, you are way too muddy. Let me get my mom. "Man, you girls are covered in mud. Take your shoes and socks off and we will rinse you off. You two go inside and take showers. Make sure you don't touch anything," mom demanded.
I love the creek. We had such great memories there. That one story only a few people know about. You were lucky enough to hear it.
Thank you...
I wish I had a better word than thank you it does not seem to be enough but THANK YOU! All of you have been awesome!!! We definitely feel loved and cared for.
Today is a good day... so far... Yesterday was a bad one compounded by very little sleep. I finally gave in to some ambien and slept 9 hours. With a little sleep I am much better today. Working on the easysite is very therapeutic for me. I update it often. It is our desire that people see the child of God that Rachel is and that her faith and our faith will get us through. We want to be a witness to His faithfulness no matter the storm. I remind myself often that our suffering and pain is but just glimpse of how He suffered watching His son die on the cross so that she can be with Him and so that we may see her again in her new glorious body! We are keeping the faith and relying HIM. We can feel the prayers, thank you!
Hanging on to Him,
Chris, Georgia and Andrew
One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and seek him in his temple. Psalm 27:14
Today is a good day... so far... Yesterday was a bad one compounded by very little sleep. I finally gave in to some ambien and slept 9 hours. With a little sleep I am much better today. Working on the easysite is very therapeutic for me. I update it often. It is our desire that people see the child of God that Rachel is and that her faith and our faith will get us through. We want to be a witness to His faithfulness no matter the storm. I remind myself often that our suffering and pain is but just glimpse of how He suffered watching His son die on the cross so that she can be with Him and so that we may see her again in her new glorious body! We are keeping the faith and relying HIM. We can feel the prayers, thank you!
Hanging on to Him,
Chris, Georgia and Andrew
One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and seek him in his temple. Psalm 27:14
Sunday, May 4, 2008
remember...
To all the lives Rachel touched
We as a family would like to say thank you from the bottom of our hearts for the outpouring of love you have shown this week. We know that you are hurting just as we are and trying to make some sense of it. I am not sure we will ever make sense of it… Even we have to keep reminding ourselves to quit trying to make sense of it; it is not going to happen. We sometimes have to remind ourselves every minute. We may not ever know why…
Just try to remember…
Remember…
Rachel as the vibrant young girl blossoming quickly into a young woman who loved everything about life. Remember not how she took her life but how she chose to live it. She was vibrant, always smiling, bubbly, funny, and goofy, laughing, remember how she lit up a room when she walked in. Remember her fierce protection of her friends and her loyalty to them. Remember her love of life- she loved so much and so hard that she lived full steam and when she finally ran out of gas she crashed for hours and nothing could wake her. She was even passionate about her sleep, the girl LOVED her sleep. You should have seen her bed when she got up, it had to be completely remade, and you might even find her sideways or at the foot of the bed. It was a mess.
Remember… how she loved you as friends. She loved each and every one of you (guys & girls) in a very special way; and yes, even when you got on each other's nerves. She loved you intensely and with every ounce of her being. She loved being goofy and hanging out, being mischievous, sleep over's, going to the movies, she loved to lay out and attempt to get a tan even though she rarely turned more than one shade darker and she loved "TP-ing" houses. She loved IM-ing, talking on the phone (sort of), singing, playing on her dance pad and listening to her Walkman MP3. She loved SIMS and both Father of the Bride movies. She loved shopping trips, Wal-Mart scavenger hunts and dares and of course mani-pedi's.
No matter the circumstance she loved you!!!
Remember…
She loved life She loved her family and pets She loved her friends fiercely, intensely and passionately She loved her school and everything about it She loved her teachers and her coaches- she was furious that many of you were leaving; however she was beginning to understand that is the life of a coach but she did say that if even one more chose to leave she said she was going to Tom Bean She loved learning, reading and yes even homework She loved to travel and was able to go many places this past year… Richmond, Virginia, Williamsburg, Washington DC, Missouri, Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina She loved UT and OU, can I even write that in the same sentence??? Yes she loved life, but most of all she loved Jesus!
Remember…
the good times spent laughing and cutting up in the halls and in the lunch room at "your" lunch table, on the bus for whatever occasion, slumber parties, football games, movies (sitting on the front the row at the Odeum), track meets, volleyball games, softball games, classes together, youth group activities, shopping, working in the concession stand, getting your nails done together. Remember her witty sense of humor, she loved to laugh and be goofy. Remember her passionate and intense love of life, family and friends.
Remember…
To thank Him for the blessing of 15 awesome years with her. Thank Him for the gift of her precious life and how she touched each and every one of us in some very special way.
Remember…
Most of all remember her love of Jesus! We know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she loved Jesus & that her last breathe on earth was her first breathe in heaven. Now she is rejoicing in heaven with Jesus and probably making him laugh too!
Remember…
written by her momma
We as a family would like to say thank you from the bottom of our hearts for the outpouring of love you have shown this week. We know that you are hurting just as we are and trying to make some sense of it. I am not sure we will ever make sense of it… Even we have to keep reminding ourselves to quit trying to make sense of it; it is not going to happen. We sometimes have to remind ourselves every minute. We may not ever know why…
Just try to remember…
Remember…
Rachel as the vibrant young girl blossoming quickly into a young woman who loved everything about life. Remember not how she took her life but how she chose to live it. She was vibrant, always smiling, bubbly, funny, and goofy, laughing, remember how she lit up a room when she walked in. Remember her fierce protection of her friends and her loyalty to them. Remember her love of life- she loved so much and so hard that she lived full steam and when she finally ran out of gas she crashed for hours and nothing could wake her. She was even passionate about her sleep, the girl LOVED her sleep. You should have seen her bed when she got up, it had to be completely remade, and you might even find her sideways or at the foot of the bed. It was a mess.
Remember… how she loved you as friends. She loved each and every one of you (guys & girls) in a very special way; and yes, even when you got on each other's nerves. She loved you intensely and with every ounce of her being. She loved being goofy and hanging out, being mischievous, sleep over's, going to the movies, she loved to lay out and attempt to get a tan even though she rarely turned more than one shade darker and she loved "TP-ing" houses. She loved IM-ing, talking on the phone (sort of), singing, playing on her dance pad and listening to her Walkman MP3. She loved SIMS and both Father of the Bride movies. She loved shopping trips, Wal-Mart scavenger hunts and dares and of course mani-pedi's.
No matter the circumstance she loved you!!!
Remember…
She loved life She loved her family and pets She loved her friends fiercely, intensely and passionately She loved her school and everything about it She loved her teachers and her coaches- she was furious that many of you were leaving; however she was beginning to understand that is the life of a coach but she did say that if even one more chose to leave she said she was going to Tom Bean She loved learning, reading and yes even homework She loved to travel and was able to go many places this past year… Richmond, Virginia, Williamsburg, Washington DC, Missouri, Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina She loved UT and OU, can I even write that in the same sentence??? Yes she loved life, but most of all she loved Jesus!
Remember…
the good times spent laughing and cutting up in the halls and in the lunch room at "your" lunch table, on the bus for whatever occasion, slumber parties, football games, movies (sitting on the front the row at the Odeum), track meets, volleyball games, softball games, classes together, youth group activities, shopping, working in the concession stand, getting your nails done together. Remember her witty sense of humor, she loved to laugh and be goofy. Remember her passionate and intense love of life, family and friends.
Remember…
To thank Him for the blessing of 15 awesome years with her. Thank Him for the gift of her precious life and how she touched each and every one of us in some very special way.
Remember…
Most of all remember her love of Jesus! We know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she loved Jesus & that her last breathe on earth was her first breathe in heaven. Now she is rejoicing in heaven with Jesus and probably making him laugh too!
Remember…
written by her momma
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