Saturday, October 31, 2009

very rough draft of a blog, but here goes anyway...

just a very rough draft of a blog. I washeaded back to bed for a nap with only my Blackberry to write in. He gave me this, it's been awhile... Nonetheless, here goes: '2005 Turning 40... I never and I mean honestly never dreaded the big 40. Andcontrary to Andrew's kidding I was only 39 once. I was excited to turn 40. Iremember that birthday well... Looking forward to what God had in store forthe next 40. If I'd only known... At times this last year I have thoughtwhat the heck was I thinking? I was 42 when Andrew joined the Army and lefthome and when Rachel died. Empty nest at 42, seriously? Not what expected atall... And while sometimes I have thought what the heck He reminded thismorning what a sweet time it has been so far. Hard, yes. Struggled, yes.Still have hard days, yes. Still struggle, yes. Its okay to struggle andhave those days, I don't like it and feel like such a failure when I do butit is okay and even expected. it makes me lean on Him even more. And that isright where He wants me... And I am okay with that.' I am going back to bed so I can work tonight, ugh.... Praying your day is blessed!

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